2020: No Settling Allowed

Shattered. Devastated. Shocked.

These are a few of the words that describe some of the emotions swirling through my body right now.

Just like that, the best relationship I thought I had ever been in, has ended. Not due to any of the “different paths” or “goals didn’t align” bullshit. It was as good as it could be. Or so I thought.

My New Year’s Eve, my favorite day of the year, has now become tainted because it is the day I found out my (now) ex-boyfriend has cheated on me. Multiple times. And I have “the other woman” to thank for letting me know. Is this real life? It can’t be real life.

We had so much fun together. We were moving in together. We had so many trips planned together. A trip to Spain with tickets already purchased we were talking about every single day. We met each other’s dearest friends. We had just celebrated our first Christmas together with my family. I had just met his family in Seattle. I saw a beautiful future with this man.

And just like that, this chapter has ended.

Abruptly. Painfully. Sadly.

So for now, I sit in this bubble bath mustering up all of the gratitude and optimism I have to try and get through this. Somehow, they’re still there. Actually I know how: because this is not the first time I have had to deal with this. Except now: I’m bigger, and better, and smarter. I have grown, and I know my self worth. I am so fortunate that my spirit guides lent me this information before I did in fact move in, or even started this new decade.

Now how to get over this? Good question. I wish I had answers. Writing is my therapy so I plan to do a lot of that. Traveling too, of course…And Yoga. Lots and lots of Yoga. But there is no getting around the fact that this heartbreak is one that will last a long time. However, there is no room for settling for less than what I deserve, so getting over it is the only choice I have. And if you see me around, give me all of the hugs. I could use them.

Much love,

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